Maurice Oliver



     Mutants In The Heating System

In this scenario I pretend to be a stone wall deep in the woods with
one mystifying story to tell. She makes out like she's the nearest
speakeasy where they dance the Charleston and drink bathtub gin.
The shoestring of swagger memorizing the entire travel guide to
Greece and the goddess fabled having the power to forecast
every dream to come. Churches wear veils. Jewelry stores breathe
fire. News from the outside world arrives handcuffed or life is a secret
fraternity of wasp stings. Here's the part where the audience has to
assume common colds come only of the powdered form and that the
trees are fevered to grow new leaves. On the other hand, surely is here
somewhere, riding in a gas balloon over the lake, happiness, that
has always been a childhood farm or desire that could cobweb the wig-
maker. Either way, a sudden draft turns the page to eternal damnation
which is already dressed and made up for the role of Hamlet.




     How To Gregorian A Moscow

When I first noticed the voice in my scissors it seemed to speak a
foreign language. But now I understand every word. Here's a few
examples of the good advice it's bestowed—

Expect air always to mystify a room

Only occasional prowlers use the cellar stairs

Suspenders have the most striking effect on gray cats

Never try to read a Russian novel in bed while smoking

Pillows are helpful if your marriage is on the rocks

Seedy neighborhoods never have exit signs visibly marked

Never expect to find a naked mannequin in a pawn shop

Snowflakes are excellent at making salads laugh

Next time try adding a cuckoo-clock to your soup

A smart faucet only drips after midnight

Even holes can still maintain dignified appearances








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